Pain craves comfort –relief.
So I crave salty & sweet.
Though I’ve been silent on my my health journey the past month and a half, Tame the Crave still has occupied many of my thoughts. I’m daily conscience of my healthy and not-so-healthy eating habits. I’m continuing to work in work-outs to my lifestyle. And my weight is still flat-lined. No change for a few months now.
Flat-lined. It’s the summer story of my heart; and becoming my autumn story too.
I can’t seem to find the joy that should clothe me with proof of my abundant life in Christ. It’s like emotional anemia.
No tragic or traumatic event has befallen me or my family; but a deep seeded thorn of pain has grown and begun to wrap its wandering vines around my heart. I’m giving attention, and pursuing healing; but it’s an arduous process.
It’s a process that almost audibly begs me to reach for comfort from ooey-gooey sweets and fancy melty cheeses. And I’ve succumbed on occasion. And it has comforted temporarily. But here I am still – processing the same deep pain.
Maybe it’s a testing? To teach me to seek full-heart comfort instead of full-belly comfort?
On the brighter side – because of the mental and physical changes I’ve adopted this year, my splurges are far less ‘splurgy’ than past splurges. Like a handful of chocolate chips rather than a large chocolate peanut butter brownie milkshake from Sonic.
I know it’s a fairly short update, but emotional anemia makes it difficult to communicate well. This is what I have to offer. And I offer it in hope that maybe one other person out there can be comforted by simply knowing they are not alone in the struggle — can say, “me too.”
“Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.“
This is the truth I am attempting to feast upon as my source of full-heart comfort. Will you join me at the table?