Kim Rettmann

Tame the Crave – Trading Cravings?

Today was weigh-in day. It’s the end of week two on my Tame the Crave journey. As I shared before, I started out at 164 pounds. At the end of week one I was feeling empowered when I weighed in at 161 pounds – three pounds down in one week – hooray!

Today was different. I weighed in with a deficit of .6 pounds. Not even one whole pound in seven days. On the one hand I’m pleased that at least I lost some weight, but on the other hand I was so hoping to break into the 150’s today. And after a week of three pounds of weight loss, .6 seems awfully measly.

Since the scale doesn’t lie, I’ve had to evaluate my eating this past week. If I’m honest with myself, and I have to be, I know exactly where I veered off course.

You see, though I’ve removed tempting unhealthy foods from my diet, I’m finding it all too easy to overindulge in other things instead (like, just maybe, peanut butter). And there were far too many times this last week that I kept eating, even when I wasn’t hungry.

There were moments when the Holy Spirit nudged me to stop eating because I didn’t need more. A few times I listened. A few more times I didn’t.

I find unhealthy desires continue to dwell in my wayward flesh. I see that I am not truly relying on God to satisfy and nourish my innermost cravings. Instead, I’m ravenously searching for an ‘okay’ food to feed my crave.

A journal entry from last week perfectly reveals the inner struggle:

Today was a day of excuse and exception bombardment. It sounds ridiculous, but I’m already thinking about the Super Bowl party (we have one every year with the youth group) and all the deliciousness that will be there. And starting to say to myself, ‘Maybe it could be a splurge day?!?’ What? Here I am almost a month away from the event, dreaming of indulgence! This reminds me that there is something fundamentally wrong with my attitude towards food.

In the introduction to her book, “Made to Crave,” Lysa TerKeurst writes:

We feel overweight physically but underweight spiritually. Tying these two things together is the first step on one of the most significant journey’s you’ll ever take with God.

My soul is ready for the journey; though my body wants to stubbornly refuse – like a toddler flopping on the ground and screaming when she doesn’t get what she wants.

So I have to bring my body into submission because it’s desires will never lead me to health or holiness. I must Tame the Crave so that it doesn’t tame me. And I must redirect the crave to the One it has been intended for all along – to the only One who can fill me.

Heavenly Father,

It feels kind of weird to seek You in this area of my life. I’ve often felt like my eating habits were an area in which I needed to ‘get it together’ on my own.

But I know the truth is that You are intimately concerned and involved with my fight for holiness – even regarding my food indulgence. You are purifying Your Bride, and that includes me.

Forgive me for ignoring Your Holy Spirit this last week. I want to continue to learn obedience in all areas of life.

God, I want to want You more than food. I want my cry to be “How lovely is Your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God” (Psalm 84:1-2). Not, ‘How beautiful is that birthday cake and my heart cries out for that enticing piece of pizza.’

“My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26). You are my portion; not food. You alone fill me up and satisfy my failing flesh; not delectable edibles.

Lord, help me to remember Your truth in the midst of temptation so that I choose to heed Your Holy Spirit instead of my flesh.

Thank you for Your unconditional love. And thank you for continuing to refine me to be more like Your Son.

Amen

Tame the Crave

“Mom,” my daughter questioned me, “where is your sweet tooth?”

Oh, boy.

There’s no doubt my kids know I have a sweet tooth. It’s my most unrelenting food craving.

For the past ten years it’s been convenient to blame all my unhealthy cravings on pregnancy and nursing (5 kids in 6&1/2 years will do that to a woman).

But now my youngest is two, and those excuses are catching up with me.

So, I’m jumping on my second bandwagon for 2016 – health. (Read about the other bandwagon I’m on: Love Quest)

Generally speaking, I live a healthy lifestyle. I actually like to exercise, I don’t smoke, I drink very little, I don’t consume much caffeine, etc….

But.

Food.

During more active times in life, my bondage to my taste buds has been of little consequence. But the ugly truth is that I’ve been out eating the treadmill.

Conviction about my eating habits has been brewing for many years. I’ve just shoved it aside; liking food isn’t that big of a deal, is it? I could be succumbing to worse habits, right? If this is an area I struggle, it’s no the end of the world. Besides, it’s the inside that matters most.

But for me it goes beyond liking food. My enjoyment of food carries me to the point of eating more than is necessary, to hiding my consumption, and ultimately to the point of guilt and shame. It is an issue of what’s going on inside. And it just happens to have the undesirable result outside plumpness.

Food is a pleasure that battles against God’s rightful place as my truest source of satisfaction and delight.

So it’s time to Tame the Crave.

It’s about more than weight loss. It’s about obedience and victory over my wayward flesh. It’s about loving God with my body, soul, spirit, mind, and strength.

I’m using Lysa TerKeurst’s book “Made to Crave,” as a guide along my journey. Would you like to read and discuss with me along the way? I would absolutely love it! We need each other in this pursuit of holiness! (You can take a look at the book here).

Tame the crave. Claim the victory.

I commenced my healthy eating plan on January 4th. And I’ve already faced more temptations than I would like to admit.

Here’s an excerpt from my journal regarding one of those temptations:

It’s the end of day two on my healthy eating plan. I’m not feeling the greatest – bloated, gurgly tummy, a little weak, and tired.

Faced a temptation when Cyrus and I went to the movies tonight with another couple. She brought perfectly portioned baggies of M&Ms to share with us! UGGGHH! I would love to munch and watch. I politely refused and instead sipped my contraband tea. This small victory feels good on the inside. Hoping my ‘outsides’ feel a little better tomorrow.

I know the temptations will keep coming, but I also know that my self-control muscle will get stronger the more frequently I resist the cravings.

My Healthy Eating Plan

My plan may look different than yours. It’s based on eliminating the unhealthy things that I crave the most: Sugar, cheese, and refined carbs.

I have completely eliminated all sugar (including honey, maple syrup, etc…) for now. Instead I’m indulging my sweet tooth with healthier fruit options.

I have also said no to cheese. Not all dairy products, just cheese. I still eat yogurt and sour cream because I don’t have a problem eating those in moderation. It’s the sultry, salty, melty allure of rich cheeses that beckons me to keep consuming. Someday I might eat small amounts of cheese again – if I have reached a place of self-control.

My final sparring partner in this fight for health is carbs. Not all carbs, just those delicious breads, rolls, pastas, and pastries that are oh so delicious, and oh so addicting, and oh so just like sugar to the body. I’m still eating some healthy grains like oats, quinoa, brown rice, and whole grain bread. But, I’m limiting myself to a small amount for only two meals a day.

The Part That I Don’t Want To Share

My weight. It’s embarrassing. I know some might not bat an eyelash at my weight. Others might be shocked and disgusted.

I hadn’t weighed myself in probably five months, but when I when I stepped on the scale to get an idea of where I was starting my journey, I though it would be about the same. Nope. I thought I weighed about 155 – more than I would like to, and squeaking by as not quite overweight according to the BMI.

But I was in for an unpleasant shock. Sometime during those five months I managed to pack on another nine pounds! Even while exercising! I’m positive it was the holidays that did me in.

So there I was, on that Wednesday two days into my healthy eating plan, weighing in at 164. My heaviest in over a year.

I guess I need to tame the crave more than I realized.

My Goals

My first goal is to break free from the control food has over me. I want to seek God for comfort, pleasure, and help rather than food.

My second goal is to lose about 24 pounds. I want to be in a solidly healthy place, not teetering in the edge of overweight.

So there you have it.

There is a part of me that keeps telling me I’m crazy for sharing any of this with you. But, if it can be encouragement for any of you who are prompted to tame your own crave, then the vulnerability is worth it.

What You Can Expect

I am going to document my journey through this blog. I will post about the internal spiritual and emotional aspects of my pursuit of victory as I process them and work my way through the book “Made to Crave.”

I am also going to weigh in every Wednesday to track my progress. I’ll share that too.

You can expect to see more excerpts from my personal journal – I want to keep the struggles of this fight real.

Each week I plan to submit a thought/discussion provoking question. Join in the conversation!

Again, I would love all the support I can get, so if you want to go through the book with me or hop on your own healthy eating bandwagon, let me know by leaving a comment or sending an email. Let’s Tame the Crave and Claim the Victory together!

Love Quest

When the bandwagon comes, I usually sprint in the opposite direction. Maybe it’s that independent, non-conformist PNW influence.

But I’m stepping into 2016 and hopping onto two different bandwagons. Ahhh! What’s wrong with me?!

The first is the pick-a-word-for-the-year bandwagon (I’ll write about the other in a later post).

I’ve seen this idea pop up the last few years and the Holy Spirit has been circulating one word through my mind over and over; so I figured I might as well turn around and saunter on over to the bandwagon this year.

Really, though, it’s a word for my entire life. I would argue it’s the most important concept that Jesus taught because, in it, all the law is summed up and fulfilled. And because of it, Christ died and rose unto our salvation.

LOVE

Love your neighbor. Love your enemy. Love your spouse. Love your children. Love the Body of Christ. Love God. Love yourself.

Does love ever feel like more of a burden than a joy?

When I think of all the people I’m supposed to love, on top of loving God (whom, let’s be honest, I will never be able to love nearly the way He loves me – yet one more thing I can’t grasp), I feel like a failure before I’ve even crossed the starting line.

Why even try? Besides, do I want to pay the cost of loving another?

C.S. Lewis sums up what I’m sure many of us only secretly admit:

“Of all arguments against love none makes so strong an appeal to my nature as ‘Careful! This might lead you to suffering.’ To my nature, my temperament, yes. Not to my conscience. When I respond to that appeal I seem to myself to be a thousand miles away from Christ.”

To draw near to Christ requires that I draw near to love.

But love is not my natural inclination. I’ve refused many offers of love – God’s and other peoples’– believing that they couldn’t really love me because I was unlovable. Misconstruing the whole idea of love. Making it something I had to earn or deserve. Entwining love with a sense of pride instead of humility. And those very feelings have made it a strain for me to sincerely love others as Christ first loved me.

Before I became a mom, I worried that I wouldn’t be capable of loving and connecting with my children (but now I realize it’s nearly impossible to NOT love your children ;)). I don’t have those cutesy-love feelings for babies or baby animals like some women do. I’m not naturally very generous. I drag my feet to forgive. I walk a short path to impatience. I can be too concerned with my own comfort to consider another’s.

However, it’s those moments of ‘love-revelation’ that have galvanized my faith and propelled my sanctification. It has cast out fears in frightening times, provided rest in weary times, assured safety in perilous times, and cradled me in tearful times. It’s those rare glimpses and truest instances of understanding the tiniest drop of God’s great love that have wrought healing, change, and peace in my soul.

The natural man is still striving with in me – within all of us – but we have the glorious gift of being elevated by the Supernatural.

Maybe you, like me, have experienced the excruciating work of mustering up love for someone you know you should love, because that’s what God commands, but you find it humanly impossible to do so? Or maybe you’ve experienced that aching desire to be loved?

That’s why I’m starting a Love Quest.

I want to better understand what it means to abide in His love (John 15:9) and bear fruit that is nourished by love.

I want to continue to learn how to love God and others with His Agape love, not my exacting and forced love.

So I’ll be posting as I learn and grow in Love. God’s love for me, for all of us; my love for God, my love for others.

I’m counting on Love to continue to change me and mold me into the woman God desires me to be. I am sharing this journey (and another to come) in hope that a few of you might be my companions along the way. I would love to hear from you!

How has God’s love transformed and challenged and changed your mind, heart, relationships etc…? Is it difficult for you to accept God’s love or other people’s love?

What We All Really Need

I’ve been steeping in the gospel of John these past several months. As I’m nearing the end of the book, the account of the crucifixion and resurrection are filling my mind. But I’ve been interested by how much these closing chapters reflect the opening chapters.

Jesus was betrayed, arrested, and brought before authorities. Then He came before Pilate – one of the bloodiest governors of his time. Pilate questioned Jesus about His claim to being the King of the Jews.

Jesus responds:

For this I have been born, and for this I have come into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice. John 18:37 NASB

At the end of His earthly life, Jesus takes us back to the very beginning of His ministry; His birth.

For this I was born…

He came. With a purpose. Wrapped in flesh.

The One who was with God in the very beginning (John 1:2), came.

Not just for a visit.

Mary wrapped her arms around what she would never fully be able to wrap her mind around.

He made His residence here. Having masterfully created The Beginning, Immanuel came at the very tiniest of beginnings. To identify with His creation. To be their representative before His Father.

We were His purpose; His Father’s purpose.

Satan introduced humanity to death. Christ introduced humanity to life – eternal life. Life that was born in humility and lived in obedience.

We need this pure, spotless, perfect LIFE.

And Jesus could never have died in the flesh had He not first been born in the flesh.

And for this I have come into the world…

He didn’t have to come. After all, He didn’t belong here.

Those whom He dwelt among knew there was something different about Him. They begged Him to prove Himself, though He already had. They cried for a show of power, but He knew that time was yet to come. He waited; they waited. 33 years.

He was, and still is, Life – Life that is Light to all humanity (1:4).

33 years spent living the life we should have lived. 33 years obeying the One we should have obeyed. 33 years of undeserved ridicule and humility.

His own did not know Him (1:10-11).

Time after time John records in his book Jesus telling the disciples and the multitudes and even His mother that His time had not yet come. He was waiting. He was obeying. He was living the life we should have lived.

His life replaced ours in the sight of the Father. And His death and resurrection are ours; we are the manifestation of the miraculous.

He came to live; as important as His death was, He is encircled on either side of death by life. And that life was lived for our sake. And He lives now so that we can be born. Born new. Born to eternal life (1:13)

He came to live more, I think, than He came to die.

Life was always the purpose.

He came to shine a light into darkness. “The whole world was lost in the darkness of sin; the light of the world is Jesus.”

We need this eternal Light to scatter the darkness that surrounds us and to lead us to His eternal Life.

to testify to the truth…

He was born, to live the truth, not just to speak it.

He came to be the standard by which we can discern what is right and wrong – what is truth and what is lie.

He is the Word – the only true Word (1:1).

Every word, every action, every expression, every movement, was motivated by truth and righteousness and love.

He came so we could behold His glory – full of grace and truth (1:14).

We need the truth He embodies, through His Word and His example; to be our standard and our example of true Life.

Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice.

If we abide in lies, whispers of Truth are unrecognizable. If we abide in The Truth, The Way, and The Life, then nothing rings clearer or is more precious than the gentle beckoning of our Good Shepherd.

Those who had even the smallest understanding of Christ on earth were those who first chose to believe the truth that He proclaimed and lived. And then hung on His every word.

We need, oh so desperately, to hear His voice. Amidst the piercing yells and shouts of our enemy, the world, and our own sinful desires, we need that constant and loving call of our savior. And the call is clear to those who are listening for the distinctly familiar tones of the One they love (John 10:4).

None of this season of celebration is of any consequence without the truth. We celebrate because the Way, the Truth, and the Life came. Was born. Walked and talked the Truth. Died in love. Rose in power and new life.

He who has no beginning was born of a woman and born again from the grave, so that we might be born again in His New Life!

I’m reminded that the more I get to know Him, the more I will love Him, worship Him, trust Him, and follow Him.

And that is what we all need to live an abundant life in the midst of a dark world – the way we can continue to shine the Light that He began to shine all those years ago.

Merry Christmas!!

When Needs Go Unmet

It’s shoe box time around our household – Operation Christmas Child is underway. I love this opportunity for our family to help a child who is experiencing the needs of basic survival. I’m so thankful for organizations like Samaritan’s Purse, which seek to reach the world for Christ by also meeting very basic needs of survival.

But, as much good as this organization and many others like it do, humanity will continue in a state of need. We may not experience the need for a meal like the poverty stricken. But there are profound needs that all of humanity has in common, no matter their income.

We all need love. We all need relationship. We all need peace. We all need a Savior.

I had one of those broken yet enlightening moments a few months ago. I was wrestling with clean sheets and mattresses, putting fresh sheets onto my kids’ bunk-beds (no easy task mind you!). The physical struggle I was facing in the midst of this task triggered the recognition of an internal struggle as well. The truth and emotions of that recognition trickled down through my mind and into my soul.

I have needs that rarely get met, especially in this season of life.

God designed me to be more introverted; I need time alone for reflection and contemplation. But in our large family and ministry lifestyle, it is rare for me to get those moments. God also made me to appreciate order and structure. But again, because of the nature of our family life, chaos reigns more than order, no matter how hard I try. God also gave me an active mind; I love to learn and study and grow in knowledge and understanding. But since most of my days are spent with my children, “The Cat In The Hat” is my poetry, the alphabet my literature, and counting to ten my higher reasoning.

Just as I was brought to tears by this recognition, God began to direct my mind. He challenged my resolve for obedience, even when my needs go unmet.

He challenged my perspective of my needs: are they truly needs? do my needs trump others’ needs? can I still serve Him from a place of personal emptiness?

He challenged me to completely trust Him and His power to help me meet the needs of others, even when I feel my needs are unmet.

Here’s the thing – if we all waited to act in the interest of others until our needs were met, then no one could be used by God to meet the needs of another. No one would ever have a need met.

Paul had something similar to say to the Corinthian church:

“For I do not mean that others should be eased and you burdened; but by and equality, that now at this time your abundance may supply their lack, that their abundance also may supply your lack.” 2 Corinthians 8:13-14

We all have needs, but are also (because of Christ’s work in our lives) capable of meeting others’ needs. Because of all He has given to us, we have something to give to others. And it’s going to look different for particular people and particular circumstances.

Here lies another paradox of Christian living: the intensity of our own felt needs wanes when we are more concerned about the needs of others.

Pastor Matthew Barnett, founder of the Dream Center in L.A., has spent decades ministering to some of the most needy people in our society. He has found that one of the most powerful steps toward their recovery is serving others. He encourages them to serve out of their pain – that a key component of transformation is getting out of ‘self’ and giving to others.

In Pastor Barnett’s words:

Everywhere that you look there’s a need. Find a need and fill it. Find a hurt and heal it. Look around for a lack in any situation and be the person that fills that gap.

And,

Just as Christ’s pain was our gain, so our struggle can be used for the gain of the body (of Christ).

So, here’s the heart of what I have been attempting to communicate:

We all have needs, but they must not define us. It’s okay, and necessary, for us to communicate our needs to others – to the body of Christ – so that they might help meet those needs in our lives. However, we can not use our own unmet needs as an excuse to ignore the needs of others. Just as Paul exhorted the believers in Corinth, we must give and receive in turn. It’s the symbiosis of being part of the Body of Christ.

I think adopting this attitude is what separates a ‘person with needs’ from ‘a needy person.’

Whose need occupies most of our concern?

Children, as you have most likely observed, do a great job of communicating their personal need. It’s in their nature to be selfishly focused most of the time. But that is not the maturity that our Heavenly Father desires for them or us. (Colossians 1:28)

That’s one of the reasons I love to pack shoe boxes with my kids. It’s a tangible way to get them thinking about others; to broaden their perspective of the world and what ‘need’ really means.

It’s not too late for you to pack a shoe box too! There are a few days left. Click on the Operation Christmas Child picture above to find out more.

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19