Kim Rettmann

Faulty Feelings

Today, my feelings deceived me. As I woke this morning, I groaned at the thought that today was Wednesday – Weigh-In day. I certainly wasn’t feeling any lighter than last week; truth be told, I felt as if I had gained a couple pounds.

Did I really have to weigh in today?!

If it weren’t for the fact that I’ve committed to report my weigh in to my Facebook group of friends joining me in this journey, I would probably have stayed home from the gym and opted for sugary cereal instead of the scale and exercise.

So I went (out of obligation), exercised, sighed heavily, and stepped on the scale.Up went the numbers as I barely dared to look down at them. Then they stopped. Two pounds shy of last week. Really? I looked stared. It was true! I was down two pounds!!

And yet an hour earlier I was convinced I had gained two pounds. My feelings deceived me.

Had I listened to my feelings and stayed home and overindulged, I would never have felt this victory and probably would have packed on a pound instead.

Today, the truth was much more pleasant than the lie I started to believe.

But sometimes, the truth is much harder than a lie.

Like when I’m feeling good about this health journey and weigh in only to find I’ve gained a pound. Then there’s that other pesky lie I’ve caught myself believing on this journey – the lie that blurs grace and overindulgence. It tells me to give myself a little wiggle room, to give myself some grace and not be so ‘legalistic.’ But the hard truth is that giving myself ‘grace’ is just a nice sounding way of excusing my overindulgence.

Overindulgence is overindulgence. And limitless indulgence in food always has consequences – it compromises our health, diminishes energy to pursue our calling, and affects the way we feel about ourselves, just to name a few.

~Lysa TerKeurst from Made to Crave chapter 13

So today I’m reminded that on this journey toward health and victory (both spiritual and physical), I, we, must always come back to what is true, no matter how painful. Because our feelings are often full of faults, and even full of lies. They will lead us astray if we follow them. The only trustworthy guide is the Truth.

God,

I want to walk in your truth. Walking – it requires movement and initiative. Help me to move in Your Truth and to initiate pursuit of it through study of Your Word. Help me discern between feelings that come from lies and feelings that come from Truth. Help me to stay the course in pursuit of physical health, but even more help me stay the course in pursuit of spiritual health. Thank you for these bodies you have given to us; may we please You, and not substitute You, with them.

A Review of ‘You and me Forever,’ by Francis and Lisa Chan

Recently, our young married’s group at church wrapped up a seven week study of Francis and Lisa Chan’s marriage book, You and Me Forever.

Our little group has studied through myriad other marriage resources (The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, The Ten Best Decisions A Couple Can Make by Bill and Pam Farrell, just to name a few), but You and Me Forever has by far had the most impact for me and I think for others in our group as well. Maybe God placed this book in my life at precisely the time we needed it, but this short seven week study challenged my husband and me and inspired us in ways we had been craving. And it definitely prompted an entirely different conversation in our group than other studies have.

If you’re marriage is in danger or if it’s just feeling stagnant, or even if it’s going well! – Read This Book.

Here’s why I loved it:

1. The content of the book focuses on the big picture, on the eternal picture. So many other marriage books I’ve read are inwardly focused (what are my needs, what are your needs, etc…). The Chans remind us that our marriages can become truly great and God honoring when we focus beyond ourselves and focus on how what we are doing now impacts eternity. How can our marriages build God’s kingdom?

There are plenty of marriage books that will teach you how to get along and be happy. This is not one of those books. I am not knocking those. In fact, we have learned some helpful principles from them over the years. The problem with those books is that they can make you feel like having a happy family is the goal of Christianity. They can make primary things like God’s glory and His mission sound secondary. They can nudge you into exchanging ultimate happiness for immediate happiness. To put it bluntly, those books don’t account for the fact that you can have a happy earthly marriage and then be miserable for all eternity. This book is about loving each other forever.

From You and Me Forever

2. It’s free!! The digital download of the book and the accompanying session videos are completely free!

3. The digital download offers unique and helpful features. For example, there are questions for reflection at the end of each chapter. But, when you link your account with your spouse’s, you can view each other’s written OR video responses – pretty cool. Also, any text that you highlight also gets highlighted in your spouse’s book. I especially liked this feature because it helped me get insight into what resonated with my husband and vice-versa. And if that’s not enough, there are a few thought provoking video clips scattered throughout the book. Also (probably my husband’s favorite feature), you can listen to the audio version of the book read by Francis and Lisa.

4. Did I mention it’s free?

5. I appreciated the fact that this book and the accompanying videos were obviously a team effort. Both Francis and Lisa contributed in the writing and discussion. They lived out the unity of mission that they encourage throughout the book. We NEED more examples like theirs.

6. Every chapter is a call to action – a call to invest in God’s kingdom rather than frantically slap together our own minuscule kingdom. It will forever change the way you think by spurring you on to focus on Forever. This in turn sheds a whole new light on our daily activities relating to marriage, parenting, finances, etc… Our marriages are about more than living happily ever after!

7. They’ve made the sweetest music video together 🙂 Check it out here: You and Me Forever

I would urge anyone who wants to take their marriage and relationship with the Lord to the next level to read this book! It will be time incredibly well spent.

Get started Here.

Blessings ~~~

Skirmishes

Today’s one of those days I just need to snap out of it. These sinewy, winding thoughts of woe-is-me, ingratitude, and pointlessness are weaving and entangling themselves amongst the firm pillars of Truth that hold my mind together and keep me from falling apart.

I hate those whining thoughts and I wish they would just stay away forever. There was a time when they had almost full control. But their control was a wretched existence for me. An existence of longing for a foundation on which to rest my thoughts, yet finding nothing solid to which I could entrust the most delicate parts of my soul.

But, God.

In His merciful kindness began building the pillars of His eternal truth in my frail and misguided mind. Firm and strong they stand in Him. In me, they are not yet completely set, but becoming more so as His sanctifying Spirit builds this new reality in me from the inside out.

Today the old serpentine thoughts of lies and pride threaten to undermine the work of my Sanctifier.

But, God.

In His gracious guidance led me to His Word, His Truth.

No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier. 2 Timothy 2:4

This little life of mine is a skirmish in the battle in the war.

This little life of mine is not about creating a safe little kingdom – decorating my home, cooking gourmet meals for my family, taking care of my needs, reaching for my dreams.

This little life of mine is about pleasing Him who has called me. It’s about taking care of His business for His purposes (which still includes making dinner for my family :)), not this world’s business and busyness.

This little life of mine is about being a little light of His.

All those complaining thoughts are trying to weave and braid themselves into my being. The great Deceiver is trying to entwine himself into the new life I have in the greater Redeemer.

It’s time for me to detach from connection and relationship with the business of this world and reattach to the One who has called me His own, and His ambassador.

Sovereign King,

I am not my own. You have called me to Your service. Remind me that this world is not my home. This world is a battlefield from which You will remove me to eternal peace and rest when Your work in and through me is finished. I did not create myself, therefore I do not own myself. You created. You own. And You are good and kind in Your sovereign rule. Continue to build Your pillars of Truth to fortress my mind in the midst of everyday skirmishes. ~ Amen

Tame the Crave – Flimsy Joy

It’s been three weeks since I weighed in. A trip to the other side of the world and back convinced me to take a hiatus from the more intense aspects of my health journey. Today I’m back at it.

I cringed at the thought of stepping on the scale this morning; I didn’t want to face the potential results of my time away. The number that greeted me was not as dreadful as I had imagined.

After three weeks, I weigh the same. What a relief!

I tried to be sensible while traveling, but I also splurged on a few different things. So this result is very encouraging.

I do wonder why, though, it seems harder to maintain a healthy weight at home than while abroad. Why didn’t I gain weight from my splurges? And I only exercised once the whole trip!

I’ve learned a few things about myself as I ponder these questions:

1. Much of my temptation comes from the fact that I spend significant amounts of time in the kitchen preparing food for my family. Food is always within reach. When I was abroad I was rarely hanging out in the kitchen – someone else prepared the food and I ate at mealtime. If I got hungry I ate a small snack. This always-in-the-kitchen struggle is one I don’t yet know how to overcome. What do the rest of you homemakers do to avoid this temptation?

2. Seafood is good for me and you. I ate more seafood in two weeks in Okinawa than I have eaten in the rest of 2016. And my body and my taste buds love it. It’s too bad seafood is so expensive where I live. However, incorporating a bit more into my diet would be well worth the expense – it’s a healthy splurge :).

3. When I’m on mission and investing in something bigger than myself, my food desires fade. When I’m finding joy and motivation in doing kingdom work, I don’t crave the flimsy joy of food. In Okinawa, I was so focused on the ministry at hand, that I only thought of food when the hunger pangs called.

Providentially, the chapter I’m working through in Made to Crave this week ties in perfectly to this last point. Lysa talks about where we find our ‘happy’ – is it in our pant size or in our Savior? She emphasizes that all of us are incomplete, and it’s hard sometimes to deal with other incomplete people. But when we derive our joy from Jesus instead of junk food or even our successes, we can love other incomplete people.

The bad news is, we’re all incomplete people. The good news is, Jesus loves incomplete people. And He wants us to know we can have complete joy by being secure enough in His love to reach out and love other incomplete people. – Lysa TerKeurst

She goes on to encourage ‘afternoon acts of kindness’ as a way to show love and also avoid the temptation of unhealthy food. She encourages these things in such a warm and loving manner, but there is a stinging truth behind it all that I am beginning to understand.

There is a connection between my overindulgence and my self-centered tendencies. Think about all those excuses we use to give in to unhealthy things, whether food or otherwise. I’ve earned this. I deserve it. It will make me feel better. I am the center of all these excuses. Is it possible that I’m loving myself and my body more than I love Christ and His Body?

Ouch.

Maybe this is partly what Lysa was getting at, maybe not. But it’s what’s getting at me.

Lord,

I want to be so filled with Your love and Your joy, that my own desires and pleasures become light as a feather and float away. I want to be so consumed with Your work that my temptations toward unhealthy indulgence are only whispers, no longer screams. Help me to see that even the little mundane tasks of the day are service to You and service to Your people. Help all that I do be for You only. May Your thoughts become my thoughts. May You increase and I decrease.

Amen

Does Celebration Have To Be Synonymous With Food?

My husband’s birthday was on Sunday. With that came food; not just an abundance of food, but an abundance of unhealthy food.

And I ate some. A few more ‘somes’ than I needed.

Apparently, I had a modicum of self-control because I didn’t gain any weight this week. I didn’t lose any either, though.

It’s got me thinking about how we celebrate. And when I say ‘we,’ I mean all of humanity. It’s not just an American or contemporary tradition. Throughout history and various cultures, feasting has accompanied celebrations of marriage, birth, death, holidays, etc… Add to that the fact that Jesus’ first recorded miracle (water to wine) supplied drinks for a feast. We like to celebrate and we need to celebrate. And food is an integral part of celebration.

But how do we reconcile our need for celebration with the importance of self-control? Because if you’re anything like me, celebration is a license to indulge.

Maybe I’m getting this whole celebration business all wrong. Maybe I’m missing the point. Can I find joy in celebration without food? Is my happiness as shallow as that bowl of ice cream?

I didn’t overdo it for my husband’s birthday as badly as I have in the past, but I’m still not sure I can trust myself to have appropriate self-control in these circumstances.

There’s also something about reaching some weight loss milestones that makes me want to celebrate, and the first thing I always think of is food – some sort of treat. But that completely defeats the point of this journey!

So I’ve gathered some ideas on how to celebrate without food.

Go to a movie.
Have a board game night with friends.
Take a bubble bath.
Buy a new outfit.
Get a facial, or pedicure, or manicure.
Go hiking with family or friends.
Gather a group to go volunteer.
Get crafty and creative! Make something with friends.
Throw a tea tasting party (tea is guilt free!).
Run/walk in a race during the holidays.
Take a nap.
Turn up the music and dance!

These are just a few ideas. Do you have more to add to the list? Please share! I think we all would benefit from considering some of these before racing to food as our first source of celebration.

It’s inevitable that we will all continue to attend celebrations where food is involved, though. So what are we to do then?

Those are the difficult moments when we must employ self-control and have a mind focused on the true source of celebration. Often, the point of celebration is to share in the joy of others. I think the key then becomes thinking of others instead of ourselves. Enjoying good conversations with old friends or getting to know someone new, encouraging those who may be downhearted and adding to the joy of the joyful. This is how we can truly add to the celebration!

The holiday which should inspire the abundant joy in our lives is almost here – Easter. Most of us will be celebrating with packed dinner plates. But maybe we will discover that true fullness and satisfaction will come when we spend time praising and thanking God for the tremendous gift of His Son. And bringing glory to His name by sharing Him with others – might that be sweeter to the soul than the most delicious of desserts?