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Summer Learnin’

I gave up watering my hanging baskets a few days ago. August is positively crispy, and my once a day dousing isn’t helping my blooms to thrive. So, goodbye bubblegum pink and midnight purple Petunias. Farewell, sunset orange African Daisies and verdant cascading Wandering Jew. Until next spring!

As our family is transitioning to a new city and school begins and Bible studies start and routines settle in, it’s easy for me to discard the summer like I did my flowers and get wrapped up in what is to come.

That’s exactly why I need to stop. To remember. To consider past growth before I look forward to future growth.

I had a science teacher in High School who made us all keep a journal of something new we learned each and every day. At the time, it was a drag to have to stop and consider and recall information. But, maturity brings a new appreciation for taking time to celebrate growth.

I’m so thankful we all continue to learn; it’s a reminder that God is not finished with any of us.

So, here are a few things I’ve learned over the summer:

The History of National Doughnut Day

I didn’t actually eat a doughnut on National Doughnut Day this past June, but I did learn what it is all about. And it’s not just about consuming those doughy delicious delights. There’s actually a connection to WWI and the Salvation Army. You can learn more here.

That’s Awkward

For so long I blamed any relational awkwardness I experienced on myself. I figured I just wasn’t ‘in the know’ concerning interpersonal interactions. But I finally realized the truth: every single one of us is awkward in our own way. Do you know how much of a relief this is to me?!?! I don’t have to take all the blame or responsibility for awkward situations! I can just embrace them for what they are, and maybe end up having a good laugh when all is said and done.

I’m awkward, and you are too. And it’s just great!

Also, isn’t the spelling of awkward super awkward? 🙂

My Humor Tank

My brother and sister-in-law came all the way from Delaware to visit us West Coasters this summer. They are two of the goofiest people I know – and I love it! But. Having them around made me realize that I have a ‘humor tank’ and once it’s empty, I’m pooped. Physically and mentally worn out. Has anyone else experienced this??

Enthusiasm

Did you know that the word enthusiasm comes from two Greek words which translate ‘in God’? I feel like there is some great nugget of spiritual truth here, still mulling it over though.

Fig Tree and Ficus

We’re considering planting a fig tree in our new yard. As I’ve researched it a bit, I learned a fig tree and ficus are the same thing.

Preachers are Artists

The longer I live with my pastor-husband, the more I believe that preachers are artists and they would do well to consider themselves so. They arrange words just so in order to paint pictures in our minds through their stories, and persuade us to action through conveying God’s truth. I can also attest to the fact that they are completely mentally and emotionally exhausted when all is said and done.

Have you thanked your pastor lately for all he pours into his preaching?

Writing Reflects My Inner Health

The amount of ink on page is a fairly accurate litmus test for the state of my soul. When my thoughts and feelings don’t come out through writing, it usually means I am stuffing or ignoring my emotions. This is not healthy for any of us.

There you have it! A few things I learned over the summer. What about you? What have you been learning? I’d love to hear!

If you’d like to read more about what other people having been learning over the summer, head over to Emily P. Freeman’s website – it’s where “What We Learned” was birthed! I know you will be encouraged by her honest and gentle writing.

God Bless!

The Upward Spiral

I didn’t even have to learn it. The Downward Spiral was second nature by second grade. Fear, hurt, pride, anxiety – descending into depression and darkness. I spent most of my teens and early twenties stuck in the spiral, trying to claw my way out of it.

But I’m learning (rather slowly) how to be gathered into the Upward Spiral. Gratitude, humble supplication, and praise – ascending to joyful Light.

I recently read Psalm 105 and there it was, as if illuminated on the thin page, the simply profound guide to the Upward Spiral.

Oh give thanks to the Lord, call upon His name;

Make known His deeds among the peoples.

Oh give thanks to the Lord …. Recognize God for who He is. Creator and Giver and Savior. Even when darkness surrounds our circumstances or our souls, there is always something to be grateful for if we are children of God. We look to the empty tomb and remember our great inheritance in the kingdom of His Dear Son. You can read more about how I’m learning to give thanks in my last post: Joy in the Whirlwind.

Call upon His name …. Draw near to God. Humbly seek Him as the only answer, the only thing that can fill our emptiness. Only in Him do we find joy, strength, love, satisfaction, and strength to face darkness with hope. The Light has come!

When we call on God, it’s another way of recognizing His involvement in all things. My family and I are learning more about how to seek God, even in the smaller details of life, as we follow His lead into a new ministry. Not only have we called on Him for help in circumstances but also for help in our hearts – for peace in upheaval, for kindness in tense situations, for wisdom in decision making, for strength in weakness.

But it’s amazing how easy it is to neglect God in these times too. It’s natural to rely on our own strength and resources. There have been times we’ve made decisions or acted without prayer, simply because we fail to recognize that God is there and that He wants us to call on Him.

I’m learning that it takes a humble heart and a mind Aimed at Heaven to consistently be in prayer; making all our requests known to God and calling out to the One who hears.

Make known His deeds among the peoples …. Tell others all about the goodness of God! Glorify Him! This is where my Upward Spiral tends to come tumbling down. It’s hard for me to express what’s going on inside of me. To let others see my gratitude toward God so that their eyes may also be drawn heavenward. To proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called us out of darkness into His marvelous Light! (1 Peter 2:9). To declare the everlasting love of the One who hears our call.

Maybe this is one of the downsides of having a more reserved personality. Or maybe it’s an area in need of maturity. Whatever the case, I know I need to change because God tells us all to declare His name to the world! Just skim through the book of Psalms and you’ll be convinced this is a primary exhortation for all of humanity.

So. Let me tell you about the things God has done in our family in response to our calling out to Him:

Our house sold, again!
We bought a brand new house that’s ready to move in to!
Our kids are transitioning better than we anticipated – they are excited about the changes!
We got a great deal on a commuter car to replace our suburban!
We’ve experienced God’s abundant peace in the midst of uncontrollable circumstances!
God has given us His strength to do what needs to be done!
God has encouraged us tremendously through His people – it’s an amazing thing to know people are praying for you!
Our kids get to continue in the dual language program in our new city!
As stresses pile up, God has continued to teach us about how to prioritize and strengthen our marriage!
We’ve been so lovingly welcomed into our new church!

How will you make known His deeds today?

Oh give thanks to the Lord, call upon His name;

Make known His deeds among the peoples.

Joy in the Whirlwind: when plans come undone

My husband delivered the disappointing news with a smile. A smile that communicated gratitude in the midst of uncertainty.

After $600 of work, it’d been determined our suburban was terminal.

A few days prior, our offer on a home in Albany was rejected.

And just as we were about to make an offer on another home, we got news that our home’s buyer’s financing fell through.

So it’s back to square one.

It’s one of those weeks. A week of trials that tempt me and the rest of the family to frustration, disappointment and anger.

Thank you God.

It’s the response my husband and I have been choosing, and helping our kids to choose too.

Thank you God.

It’s the sacrifice He desires.

Thank you God.

It’s the comfort He promises.

Through these temporary set-backs, we’re learning to let thanks be the baseline to the song of our life; gratitude our anchor; joy our undercurrent. We’re thankful for growth and teaching opportunities – to teach our own hearts and our children’s hearts God’s ways. We’re thankful for His joy in the whirlwind.

How is this possible?

I’m asking myself the same question. Had the same circumstance occurred five years ago, I’m doubtful I’d have had the same response.

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

In the face of trials, James exhorts us to consider it pure joy because we know – we don’t know the blueprint but we know the finished product. We don’t know the middle but we know the end.

This knowing is what brings us through the experience of pain, suffering, frustration, and disappointment with peace, fulfillment, healing, and hope.

Faith is far-sighted. It sets eyes on the end we know is coming.

Faith knows what James knows, that just as charcoal under pressure, and precious metal through fire, a life under trial produces beautiful strength. Or as James calls it, endurance; an endurance that makes us complete in Christ.

What if we realized that without trials we are incomplete? What if we recognized the refining of our souls in the midst of adversity? What if we relied completely on the power of our Savior to redeem our circumstances?

Maybe then joyful eternal thanks would mingle with tears of temporary pain.

Maybe then would we consider it all joy.

Our house is back on the market, the suburban will soon be on craigslist, and we’re keeping our eyes open for new listings.

Through it all we are are choosing thanks. It’s unnatural at times to say things like, “Thank you God for a broken down vehicle,” but as children of God we dwell in the realm of the supernatural. Our kids look at my husband and I like we are crazy when we say these things aloud, but after some prompting, they join in. ‘I’m thankful that having only one working car means we get spend more family time together.’ ‘I’m thankful we still have one car to get around.’

We are … ‘fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.’ Heb 12:2

We serve One who has already done what He asks us to do and who offers us His own overcoming power to do it.

Thank You God!

I woodburned this frame a couple months ago to remind myself and my family to frame our minds on praise and thanksgiving. A tangible way to practice one of the most most repeated exhortations of God’s Word. It’s a visual cue to set our minds on things above rather than to get bogged down in the details of daily life. It’s a guide as we aim at heaven.

I know all of you are facing your own trials this week too. Internal and external, quickly passing and long lasting. Keep enduring. Keep giving thanks. Keep your joy.

Because you know the end of the story!

Confronting Worry Part Five: Assurance

I was only about six or seven, so I didn’t completely understand what I was witnessing. I stood in the doorway of my parents’ bedroom. I saw my mom, kneeling by the bed with her head pressed into her folded hands. She was praying, but this wasn’t a ‘normal’ prayer. She was audibly crying out to God, begging for His salvation. She rocked back and forth, and cried, and repeated herself over and over again.

It wad strange because I knew my mom was already a Christian. She had trusted Jesus as her Savior in her early teens, after listening to a Billy Graham broadcast. She grew up in a Christian family and her dad had helped start a Christian school and also did his fair share of preaching.

Why was she begging for something God had already given her?

I learned many years later that those were some of the darkest moments in my mom’s life. She had suffered many deep wounds – spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. These wounds led her to anxiety about her standing before God. She doubted her salvation. She feared she had committed the ‘unpardonable sin.’

At one point she sought counsel from a well-known Christian leader. But this leader’s heretical teaching led my mom down an even darker path; she was led to believe that because of her struggles she just may not be one of God’s ‘elect.’ This left her with almost no hope. Hell seemed like her only option.

As I grew older, I began to understand, to a lesser degree, some of those same feelings. Feelings of unworthiness, spiritual uncertainty, doom, and worthlessness. And I can’t imagine someone telling me, in the midst of such darkness, that because I struggled I just must not be chosen by God to be a Christian. How devastating!

Our Adversary thrills at the chance to plant seeds of doubt in their relationship with the Lord. That doubt can cause crippling worry and anxiety.

Worry about our relationship to God can darken every square centimeter of our being so that even experiencing the best circumstances in life is still miserable. Because why does life even matter if we can’t be sure of God’s salvation and love? What else is there?

If we cannot find rest and peace in Christ, there is no rest or peace to be found anywhere else.

Have you ever felt like God is just waiting for you to mess up? Or that He will be angry with you if you make the wrong choice? Does it sometimes seem like God is constantly putting you to the test to see if you will measure up? Do you fear His punishment? Do you dread His disappointment? Do you feel like you have to be the perfect Christian in order to receive God’s love and approval?

You are not alone.

But when we dwell in these feelings we dwell in lies.

We must continually fill our minds with God’s truth so that we don’t drown in the false feelings Satan delights in feeding to us.

I have learned to be confident in my salvation, but I still often struggle with the ‘now what’ aspect of my walk with the Lord. There are still trials, temptations, difficulties, doubts. I know I am saved but sometimes I don’t always feel loved or cradled in His caring arms. But those feelings are a lie.

The only cure for a lie is the truth.

So, prepare yourself to be invaded with some serious Truth!

When you feel guilty or ashamed:

“Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

Romans 8:1

When circumstances lead you to despair:

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

Romans 8:28

Confronting Worry Part Four: Acceptance From Others

I am judgmental. In those deepest, darkest places of my soul, that do their best to remain hidden, I can chew someone up and spit them out, maybe better than most. I hate that it is a part of me, and I’ve seen the Holy Spirit’s work in that area of my life, but it still lurks – ready to seize the day if I give but a millimeter.

That intimacy with judgment makes me keenly aware of being judged by others in return. I hate that too.

The result is that I have become most cruelly judgmental of myself.

Maybe you know the feeling?

I want to feel love and acceptance. It was an especially agonizing desire in my teens and early twenties. A desire that led me astray. Away from my identity in Christ.

I gave control of my identity to my peers and family. I sought people’s praise instead of God’s. And through that I lost myself. I was comfortable in academics, but insecure in relationships, so I became a friendless good student. I was so anxious about being judged by my peers, so cautious of every move I made, that I made almost no attempt to take any relational initiative. The me God made me to be was swallowed up by the me that craved acceptance.

I was anxiously ill before and during school, church functions, and family get-togethers. I lost my capacity to function as a child of God. And I was an unfit conduit for God’s love to anyone around me.

Maybe you know that feeling too?

We are not alone in these feelings.

The Bible is full of people who worried about what others thought.

Moses was worried about being God’s mouthpiece because in the eyes of man he was no great orator. So he argued with God. (Ex. 4)

The reverse was the case for the prophet Samuel. He took on the role of judge, assuming that God would choose one of Jesse’s tall and handsome sons as the future king, not young David. God corrected Samuel’s misguided judgments. (1 Sam. 16)

Annanis and Saphira sold some property and wanted to look good to others by appearing to give all the proceeds to the church. So they lied. And then they died. (Acts 5)

Peter succumbed to pressure from the Jews and so fell back in to certain Jewish practices that Christ specifically had come to free us all from! He ‘began to withdraw and hold himself aloof, fearing the party of the circumcision’ (Gal. 2:12) and so failed the gospel. So Paul rebuked him.

And one final example – my twin. Yep, I didn’t know I had one for quite some time, but then I found her. She was busy preparing food and keeping house during Jesus’ visit, while her sister Mary just sat there and listened to the conversation.

Martha. I cringe to admit it, but I see so much of myself in her. Martha was obsessed with duty and responsibility, probably out of an unhealthy concern for what others thought of her. This had a tremendous impact on her decision making process. I can identify, can you?

Martha’s decision to spend her time taking care of the details aroused anger inside of her towards her sister, Mary, who sat listening to Jesus. That led Martha to ask Jesus to reprimand Mary. The audacity! But she didn’t get what she wanted. Quite the opposite. Instead, Jesus reprimanded Martha for neglecting Him and His words. Ouch! Oh, and he praised Mary for her choice to be with Him (that rubs salt in the wound!).

Because Martha let her sense of duty and worry about other’s opinions be her guide, she ultimately ended up displeasing God and missing opportunities with His Son!

(See Confronting Worry Part Two for more on how worry divides our devotion to God.)

Martha gave up control to those she thought would judge her instead of to the One who already loved her.

We give control to those who judge us, and love to those who accept us.

Who is your judge? Whose acceptance do you seek? This is the one who controls you.

In reality, God alone is our judge. It’s because of Jesus Christ that we are accepted by God too! This is such good news! Because He has judged His Son as righteous, and we are in His Son, He has judged us as righteous too. Not only that, He gives us the love and acceptance He has for His beloved Son, Jesus. And living in His perfect love will cast out our worries and fears.

As I have come to let that truth settle down in my mind and heart, it has been easier to fall under God’s control rather than people’s. And it’s been a joy to experience more love between My Savior and me!

I don’t know in what way you may be living for the approval of man. But know that God’s approval is eternal and it’s yours if you have trusted Christ as your Savior! How I hope and pray that you might journey along with me and come to a place of peace and rest in our Heavenly Father!

There is an old hymn that I can’t help but think of as I write about this topic. The title is “Accepted in the Beloved.” I especially like verse two and the chorus:

In the Beloved – how safe my retreat,

In the Beloved accounted complete;

Who can condemn me? In Him I am free,

Savior and Keeper forever is He.

In the Beloved, God’s marvelous grace

Calls me to dwell in this wonderful place;

God sees my Savior and then He sees me

In the Beloved accepted and free!

Let’s live in the freedom God has so powerfully provided for us!